If you have seen enough religious stuff, then you should be very familiar with the 10 Commandments. However, some verses in the Holy Bible aren’t meant to be taken too literally… There’s 1 specific verse that says that if your eyes cause you to sin(or do something bad), then poke them out; but you won’t just go ahead & poke your eyes out immediately, would you? Then you would be blind! Obviously! But that specific verse means that it’s better to be in Heaven with an incomplete body than in Hell with a complete body! (Heaven is eternal paradise; Hell is eternal misery) But surely, God can repair your body parts for you while you’re in Heaven, right?

Anyway, here are the 10 Commandments in easy-to-understand English:

Dr. John Von Foolish wearing his “Do Not Murder”
  1. Put God 1st in everything you do
  2. No false gods (Also known as idols)
  3. Don’t misuse God’s name (Be positive & respectful, not negative or disrespectful)
  4. Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy (Take vacations whenever necessary; even God Himself says that vacations are important!)
  5. Honor your parents (This commandment specifically mentions your parents, but it also means that all members of a family should respect each other)
  6. Don’t murder
  7. Don’t commit adultery (You’re allowed to have only 1 spouse at a time)
  8. Don’t steal
  9. Don’t fib; in other words, tell the truth
  10. Don’t covet (When others own neat things that you don’t own, don’t let that be a source of your bad feelings or seek to take what they have without their permission)

Considering these 10 commandments, 2 or more of them can be combined into other moral commands. For example:

  • #6 & #8 can be combined to say: “Don’t destroy your neighbor’s property”
  • #1 & #4 can be combined to say: “You always need to know what time it is & today’s date; don’t forget that” (Sometimes, #2 can be included in this sum!)
  • #7 & #8 can be combined to say: “Don’t kidnap people; specifically, their spouses”
  • #1 & #2 are very related to each other! Together, they mean: “Don’t create or worship false gods”
  • #6 & #7 can be combined to say: “Don’t rape”
  • #5, #7 & #8 can all be combined to say: “Don’t kidnap people; specifically, their children or their parents” (Children are more likely to be kidnapped by crooks however!)
  • #3 & #10 can be combined to say: “Don’t tease people with your property”
  • The last 5 together (#6, #7, #8, #9 & #10) are all about how you treat other people
Maryanne Maidenson, the White Rabbit’s maid, reminds her supervisor that the current date in this cartoon is a Saturday while she was mopping his kitchen!
God Himself invented weekends so we could have a day to rest from work. Saturday is called the Sabbath in the Christian Religion since it’s the 7th & final day of the week. God created the world in 6 days & rested on the 7th, which is why we have 7 days in a week.
Where does Sunday fit into this? Why do we rest on Sundays, too? Well, some other religions believe that Sunday is the Sabbath. The arguments about Saturday or Sunday being the Sabbath led to both days of the week being weekly holidays! So it’s actually like we get 2 Sabbaths per week! But who’s complaining?

Are we allowed to pick a favorite commandment? Well, even if you pick a favorite, you still have to obey all 10!

I decided that my favorite commandment is #3: Don’t misuse God’s name. It’s my favorite because names are technically words, which have some power & meaning. It does matter how use someone else’s name. (Especially God’s) The way you use a word (especially a vulgar one) can & will get you criticized by whoever is in your audience.

When I was in middle school, this music-hating jerk excessively called out my name without respect, over every petty, little action I did around him! (Whether the action was important or just for fun) Even during free-time, he whined out my name about whatever I did! It was extremely disruptive & very annoying because when somebody calls out your name for you to hear, you can’t ignore it; you can’t ignore your own name; you must respond to the caller somehow!

I used grawlixes to censor Zoe Badloose’s foul mouth when she misused God’s name, because even as the cartoonist, I wanted to make sure that I don’t print(and therefore use) God’s name in vain. Grawlixes are the name of those random symbols that are used to censor vulgar language & cursing in comic strips. Derek points his finger at God’s name in the 2nd panel, plus it’s in bold letters. Misusing God’s name coincides with cursing, by the way. You can click on this image for a better view.

I filed a complaint about it but the staff of the school ignored my complaint. Now that I think about it, my complaint really shouldn’t have been ignored because something had to be done about that jerk’s constant whining & misuse of my name. In fact, he was stupid enough to commit disorderly conduct! Maybe he’s in jail right now for committing that crime in a theater somewhere. If my complaint wasn’t ignored, then I could have got an opportunity to warn my whiny foe about the consequences of committing disorderly conduct & find a consensus to solve his problem, then maybe he would stop whining about everything I do! (My complaint was about his misbehavior, too. Not just about him using my name!)

What if that music-hating jerk misused God’s name instead of mine? Then it could bring great misfortune to the entire school! That’s what happens when God’s name is misused: great misfortune! The Titanic sank because its builders said that God couldn’t sink it, so He proved them wrong! They dared Him, the almighty creator of the universe, to sink their ship, so guess what happened. It’s questionable that the ship hitting the iceberg caused the tragedy, but still, the builders shouldn’t have mocked God; that cursed the ship!

Seriously, respect matters & that’s what God’s 3rd commandment is all about: respect!

“Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.” – Exodus 20:7

Don’t you think it was rude of Zoe Badloose to mock God like that in my cartoon? After she got magically zapped, the principal of the school that she worked in fired her for practicing witchcraft on school grounds!

When people sin or commit crimes, it somehow turns people into miserable slaves. And God hates slavery! Furthermore, evil brings nothing but trouble, even to the troublemakers! Believe me, I know that for sure because quite often when I got too revengeful in elementary school & retaliated against my school bullies, I was punished, too, for offending them! My elementary school teachers thought that I was a troublemaker, when actually, I was just a lonely schoolboy who was defending myself! Almost no person would help me with my bullies at the time, so I had to rely on supernatural help. God is supernatural. I prayed for His help & He helped me!

What if God gave an 11th commandment, what would it be?

I think God would say, as His 11th commandment: “You may rephrase the previous 10 commandments in your own words, but your words must coincide with mine.”

Or maybe all 10 of the commandments can be combined to form an 11th compound commandment, that says: “Communicate carefully & morally with people who receive your messages.” (And you’re always communicating, whether you know it or not!) But anyway, that’s just my theory. In conclusion, God’s 10 commandments tell you what you must do to be a morally good person.

The villainess of this cartoon – Shirley Locks – lied about killing her own husband; she thought that she could fool the lie detector but to her surprise, it worked after all! After her confession, the heroes of the cartoon brought her to justice. Dottie Doll even suggested that they send her to the planet Misandristica since Shirley was so misandristic! You can click on this image for a better view.